I Became a Parent Too Late
I became a parent too late. Not too late in my life, too late in time. I became a parent in the wrong century.
Remember the good old days, when your mother never played with you? When you made your dad an after-work cocktail? When parents didn't see their kids until dinner time?
What happened to us as a society? I resent that I'm a parent in the age of helicopter parenting. When my kids are bored, they look to me to play with them. When they're going to the pool, they remind me, panicked, "You didn't sunscreen me!" When they get home from school, there's all sorts of paperwork in their folders for ME.
Lack of women's rights and oppressive roles aside, being a mom in the 60's and 70's was a whole lot easier. A Mother's Helper wasn't a twelve year-old you had to pay $7/hr to play with your kids to get them out of your hair, it was a little pill that gave you boundless energy. You didn't have to make sure all your kids were strapped into carseats and boosters. You told your kids to get out of the house and find something to do, and you didn't see them again until you rang the dinner bell or bellowed their names in the street.
Can you imagine?
Yeah, yeah. I know it's 2012. But a girl can dream...
This ad actually tells you to put baby oil on an infant to speed up the tanning process.
Betty, I know you understand.