I Couldn't Love you More if you had Grown in my own Belly
I will never forget the day. Peyton was three years old and I had gotten a call that my Aunt Ida had taken a turn for the worse in the night. It was the wee hours of the morning but I bundled us up in my van for a two hour drive, thinking that Peyton would fall back to sleep within minutes. Boy, was I wrong! As we pulled out of the driveway Peyton asked, "Was I in your belly? WHAT!?! Without hesitation or missing a beat I replied, "no, you grew in my heart". He was satisfied with that answer and said, "oh, good Mama" and drifted off to sleep.
Of course I knew this would not be the only time that Peyton would ask me this question, but for now he was satisfied with my answer. Peyton knew he was born in Guatemala, we celebrate his "Family Day" now called "Peyton's Day" every year. We openly show him photos of his birth mother and foster mother and our visit trip and pick up trip to Guatemala, and discuss Guatemala often.
When Peyton turned four one of his best friends' mom was expecting a baby. One day, after playing with his friend he said Mama, I know I grew in your heart but how come I didn't grow in your belly? Deep breath...because all babies don't grow in their Mama's bellies. Again, he was satisfied with that answer and he asked me to read him a book. So I did, and held him tight.
When Peyton was five a very good friend of mine was pregnant, and she would watch him when I needed to go to meetings. One day after I picked him up he said, Mama, I know I didn't grow in your belly, that I grew in your heart but I wanted to grow in your belly. Tears started to well up, but I just took a deep breath and said "you know, even though you didn't grow in my belly, I love you as much as if you did, I may even love you more." He smiled and said, "I know you do".
I honestly often forget that Peyton didn't grow in my belly. My love for him is so deep and no biological connection could make it any stronger. He didn't grow in my belly, he grew in my heart, and I am thankful he did.