An Open Letter to the Supermoms of the World
Dear Supermoms of the world,
You're making me look bad. How do you do it? Where do you find the time? As far as I'm concerned, there isn't enough time in the day and frankly, I'm stressed about it.
First of all, I really like my sleep, so if you're going to tell me that I should wake up earlier in the day to get more done before my kids wake up, I'm going to laugh at you (and probably roll my eyes behind your back). Before you call me a slacker, I do not spend gratuitous amounts of time sleeping - I'm in bed at or around 11 pm and up at 7 am. I'm allowed 8 hours, right?
At 7 am I hit the ground running. My fiance gets up and into the shower while I make coffee. If small children haven't woken up yet, we switch and I get my turn in the shower while he starts working. If the kids are awake - no shower for mommy - and I'm catapulted right into my day. Clothes for each kid, missing shoes, making 3 different things for breakfast, cleaning up from breakfast, finding items for "share" day, coaxing my daughter to let me brush her hair, and getting them loaded up in car seats for the 20 minute drive to school.
Hello 9 am.
At 9:30 am I'm back home, and I start work. I have a full time job of 40 hours a week that I do from home. I do get to choose my own hours for the most part, but before you tell me how lucky I am, let me remind you that it's more stressful than it seems. I get roughly 5 of those hours each day Monday-Friday while the kids are in school (9:30 - 2:30 working straight through lunch) which adds up to 25 hours a week. I have to find another 15 hours somewhere else.
I leave to pick up the kids at 2:30, and have them by 3 pm. Usually I make it to the grocery store around 3:30 and am out by 4 pm. I get home at 4:15 and work until 5:15 when I start dinner. Yay! Look, I've found another 5 working hours - so now I'm up to 30 hours a week.
Dinner takes an hour to make. It's now 6:15. It takes another hour to serve, eat, and clean up.
It is now 7:15 pm. Time for baths. Two kids in and out of the tub - another 35 minutes. Now it's ten minutes to 8 and it's time to read books and do the whole bedtime routine. If everything goes smoothly I'm back out in the living room around 8:40 pm. If I manage to fall asleep in there, my fiance comes and fishes me out around 9 pm when he realized that if he doesn't wake me, I'm never coming out.
With sleepy eyes I look at my computer. I need to put in another 2 hours before I sleep if I'm going to hit 40 hours for the week. Oh but wait, that's just my day job. I do writing and consulting and other things, too.
I must be crazy.
I end up feeling overwhelmed with an incredible urge to bury my face in a giant piece of chocolate cake. I miss my kids - I want to play with them more. They are growing before my eyes. I want to volunteer at school, I want to take them to do fun things. I want more time with my fiance' who works harder and longer hours than I do. I need time for myself - I'm lucky on most days if I get to shower, remember?
So when do you supermoms get your hair cut? When do you have the time to grab "coffee" with a friend? How do you get away with your husband for a date night? Even better, how do you have time to shop for bras that fit you properly, makeup that is the right shade, or even go to the gym? I see you show up in the carpool line in your gym clothes. Do you just like wearing those out or did you actually find time to work out today? If you did, I'm totally jealous.
I see you post about your lives on Facebook and it all seems so neat. Your houses are clean, your kids don't have chocolate all over their faces, you made 80 cupcakes for the school bake sale and you planned and funded the most elaborate birthday party that my kid has ever gone to (and is still talking about). I'm barely holding it together over here - so please, if you have a secret you can share with me I'd love to hear it. Maybe we could meet for coffee?
That is, when I have the time.
Flustered but fabulous