Two Months is Too Long: An Emotional Goodbye
For 10 months I’ve known this day was coming. Yet somehow, having 10 months to prepare hasn’t made it any easier.
My daughter is leaving on Monday to head back to Louisiana for 2 months to spend the summer with her father. Which is exactly the plan that I gave the ok on 10 months ago when he and I reached an agreement that allowed me to move to California with her. But somehow, in my head, it felt like I would never actually have to deal with this distance, this separation.
My sweet girl has never spent more than 6 nights away from me. And now I’m facing two whole months. TWO WHOLE MONTHS. Two months is too long. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach - if you can’t already tell - I’m really not taking it well.
Last weekend it hit me hardest. I walked around in what I can best describe as a fog. I sat down to work, but after 10 minutes I was zoning out at the screen, mouth wide open at absolutely nothing in particular. I would put down my computer and wander over to do the dishes - but then realize I needed to pay a bill and sit down at the table to write out the check. Of course, my checkbook was nowhere to be found so I began searching the house for it and before I know it I’m sprawled across the bed reading the latest copy of Vogue.
I’m a bit scatterbrained on a daily basis, but this is definitely more extreme than usual.
I have extra emotion in spades - last weekend I had a minor breakdown because we were out of milk and I had forgotten to pick some up at the store. I teared up because I mean, what awful mother finds herself on a Saturday morning, sans milk for breakfast? Clearly I am a terrible, terrible mother! My penchant for the dramatic is really on display lately. I alternate between being overbearing and loving, or super snappy and agitated.
It is not my finest moment.
In short - I’m a nervous wreck. Part of me just wants to get it over with, to have her leave already so that I can start the countdown of her return. The anticipation of her departure is killing me. But then I’m so desperate to treasure these next few days - I just want to try and appreciate all of time that I have her here - read a few extra chapters in her latest American Girl book, have her draw me just one more picture, take her to Disneyland just one more time.
I know lots of parents deal with this every summer, but this is my first time experiencing it. Honestly, I gave myself too much credit. I thought I’d be handling it a little bit better than I am. So far I completely suck at it.
Have you ever had to spend several months away from your child? How did you deal with it?