Why I'm Afraid To Have a Second Child
"Just one!? You can't have JUST one, Aly!" Now, this is not a reference to having just one Tic Tac or just one Pringle or just one Oreo (excuse me as my mind drifts to emotional eating ). I'm talking about potentially ONLY having one kid. Everyone has an opinion about it and I get peppered constantly with obnoxious questions like, "When is the second one coming? Don't you want your kids to be close in age? Won’t your little one be lonely without a sibling?" Blah blah blah. And not that I owe anyone an explanation, but I am not sure when or even if we will add to our tribe.
I currently have a stellar 2.5 year old girl, who I love to pieces and who lights up my day, (cue the rainbows and violins.) She’s a mini me and yes I got my girl! Whoop whoop! But I also remember the newborn years when things were so foreign and frightening - sleepless nights, infant reflux and feeding nightmares. Quite honestly, the thought of going through all of that again scares me.
I had a relatively easy pregnancy (minus one minor thirty two week week scare) and I have a healthy thriving child…but what if things aren't as easy the second time around? What if the pregnancy doesn’t go as smoothly? Every day I hear more about pregnancy complications and genetic diseases it all frankly scares the crap out of me. Do I want to roll the dice again? I’m not sure.
I never pictured myself with just one child by the way. I grew up with a sibling as did my husband and so did most of my relatives and friends. But maybe what's right for them isn't right for me? I don't buy into that only child syndrome nonsense. I know plenty of screwed up kids who have brothers and sisters!
I don’t view having one child as an "only" situation or a "just" scenario. We all should feel fortunate for what we have, count our blessings and make the most of what is in our lives. I haven't made any final decisions on having one last experience with that newborn smell (ahhhh). What I do know in THIS moment is that I want to be the best mama and the best role model for my daughter’s present and future. If her future holds a sibling in it and it feels right for me and my spouse, then so be it. And if it doesn’t feel right for my family then that's ok too. So mind your Ps and Qs - I’m figuring it out so stay tuned…