On Learning To Suffer Well

I lay and feel this baby, 16 weeks along now, move and wiggle inside me. I cannot get enough of each and every womb-touch.  I take it all in. I gulp and gulp and swallow this experience whole. I cannot. Get. Enough.

But also.
I remember.

Laying in a dark room in my bed with a completely silent womb.  
The older sister to this now growing baby having just died.

{{Click to read more of what I wrote when I was just 16 weeks along...}}