A Not So Happy Mother’s Day
Sometimes hope feels like a feather floating in the air, you touch it gently and with such a tiny grasp because you don’t want it to disappear into the universe. Sometimes that is what this Mother’s Day feels like for me.
Last year I was grieving my way through Mother’s Day, the first one since losing my daughter. This year as we miss her all that much more, we are also celebrating baby #5 in my belly and what that means for our family. We’ve gone farther in this current pregnancy now than I did in the last, and that is huge. It’s a celebration! However.
We see hope in the air and long to grab it, but leave it instead. It belongs there in the land of “maybe” and “we’ll see” and “can you believe it?” and not in my hand just yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever grab hold of hope completely.
Maybe you’re feeling mixed emotions this Mother’s Day too? I think of my own mother who will be spending her first Mother’s Day without her mom who passed away last fall. I can only imagine all those out there who’ve had their mother pass on. Or those who’ve felt like their mother doesn’t even exist because of a strained relationship or worse - abuse.
It’s a strange thing to have a holiday that so many actually hurt their way through instead of celebrate. It’s amazing how not alone I am in wishing it was just another day. Maybe next year I’ll just sleep through the day and that will be my gift. How about you?